A Happy Home, parts 3 & 4

I've gotten a bit behind on this topic, as well (as the Blogging Through the Alphabet). In a way, that's okay, because next week is "review and revisit chapters 1-4." Remember, you can watch these episodes online.

The Results of Affection

Remember last time, we were looking into what is going on in our children's worlds. Their habits, their friendships, etc.

If you've discovered some things you don't like, how are you going to react? Too often we parents immediately attack the issues, which is not the best thing to do, is it?

Approaching our children with tenderness will produce more desirable results. Kindness will win children to us; criticism will drive them away. Encouragement draws them in; unnecessarily pointing out their faults pushes them away. The Connected Family, page 25.

Be kind
Kindness may be defined as gentleness, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, and affection toward others. Kindness can also include expressions of empathy, compassion, and tenderness.

Be tenderhearted
Tenderness and sensitivity go together.  We ought to be tender with our children when they need correction, and sensitive to how they may be feeling. Our tenderness with touch their hearts and motivate them positively far more effectively than a thousand lectures ever could.

Be forgiving
God tells us, in His Word, to forgive one another, even as He has forgiven us. If we have been harsh with our children, if we haven't handled a situation correctly, if we've lost our temper with our children, or if we've neglected a need we should have fulfilled, we ought to ask their forgiveness. Remember: parents who don't see the need of asking forgiveness of their children while expecting children to confess their own wrongs are setting up a double standard in their children's eyes!

Step Forward Assignments

1. Determine today to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving toward your children.
2. Specifically ask your children to forgive you for any past or present wrongs you have committed.
3. Continue to refrain from jumping in with both feet to address last time's observations. Warning: this may be more difficult than you think!

Journal Questions and Answers

1. Who stands out in your mind as either kind, tenderhearted, or forgiving? What have they said or done that makes you view them in this light?
2. When were you kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving today? What effect did it have on your children?
3. Did any old habits of unkindness surface today? If so, were you quick to recognize them? Did you ask forgiveness?

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesian 4:32.

Discovering Their Dreams

We all enjoy other people taking an interest in us, don't we? It is even more meaningful when it is someone we love or respect who expresses that interest in us, isn't it?

All children have an inexpressible longing for their parents to show an interest in them. They may not admit it, but they do.  When we express an interest in our children through becoming involved with out time and money, it touches them in much deeper way than merely listening to them talk about their activities and interests.

Take time to find out what their interests are, then invest yourself by spending time doing those activities with them. For example, your sons like to build things with Legos. Take time to sit down with them, and build something with Legos along side them. Or if your daughter likes to go birding, go along with her. Make sure, though, you are actively involved with her; don't go spending half the time texting your friends, or something like that!

Step Forward Assignments

1. In a natural way, search out the interests and dreams of your children. Make sure your questioning does not come across as an interrogation! Spread this activity out over the whole day.
2. Talk with your spouse and make some initial plans to engage in your children's wholesome interests and dreams. (Later you will have opportunities to put these plans into action.)
3. Continue tuning in to your children's world by being observant. Their rooms could also hold clues to their interests or dreams.
4. Continue to pray specifically for each of your children.

Journal Questions and Answers

1. What interests do your children have? List each child and his or her interests.
2. What dreams do your children have? List each child and his or her dreams. (For example, an interest could be astronomy; the corresponding dream would be to have his or her own telescope.)
3. What plans do you have to participate in your child's interests and dreams? 

"And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers..." Malachi 4:6.

I hope you will return next week, for the next step of this journey. I pray the Lord blesses you in your efforts in learning more about your children.

Until next week.

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A Happy Home, part 2

Welcome back! I am glad you have joined me again this week. Remember, you can watch this episode online.

What in Their World is Going On?

Face it; we as parents aren't always in tune with what's going on in our children's lives...unless we put forth the effort to be aware.

Do you know who your children's friends are? Who they are talking to on the phone, or texting, or friends with on Facebook, etc.? Do you know what kind of music they listen to? Or what TV programs or movies they like to watch? Do you know what your young child's favorite color is? Or his/her favorite food?

This week, take a tour of your children's bedrooms while they aren't around. Just observe and take note of what you discover. Note: this week you are not confronting your children with what you find (that will be discussed later). You're just observing.

Step Forward Assignments

1. Pray specifically for God to lead you in your observations.
2. Without making your motives or activities known, tune in to your children's world this week.
3. Take time to privately compare your observations with your spouse if possible.

Journal Questions and Answers

1. What areas of your life have prevented you from connecting with your children? Where have you been over committed or lazy? Be honest and specific.
2. What did you find out in your children's rooms that surprised you both positively and negatively?
3. Rewrite Proverbs 27:23 in your own words: "Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds." (NKJV) Replace flocks with the names of your children.

 I hope you will return next week, for the next step of this journey. I pray the Lord blesses you in your efforts in learning more about your children.


Until next week.

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A Happy Home, part 1

I have been watching a series on 3ABN (Three Angels Broadcasting Network) called Happy the Home. It is a 26-part series, and they just started a new "round" this morning. I thought I'd like to share about it with you each week.

This series is based on a book by Paul and Carolyn Rayne, called The Connected Family Simple Steps to Positive Parenting. The book "is a practical twenty-six step program designed to help parents make their children high priorities, lead them to make commitments to God, and teach them tools for Christian living." (from the book's introduction).

The book is divided in to three sections: Winning Our Children's Hearts; Leading Our Children's Hearts to Christ; and Developing Christian Principles at Home. Each chapter contains an informative reading, a Step Forward section (which offers assignments for us parents), and a Journal Questions and Answers section (which gives the opportunity to evaluate progress and journal thoughts and activities).

The Connected Family is not a book to primarily read. It is a book you do!

The program, Happy the Home, can be viewed on 3ABN, which is a Christian television network. Some cable and satellite systems carry it. But you can also watch it online. Check scheduling at 3ABN. But you know what?! You can also view each episode at the Restoration International website! (Note: I think the schedule they have posted at the bottom, for when you can view it on 3ABN is not quite accurate; off by maybe an hour).

I'd like to invite you on this journey with me, for the next 26 weeks. Let's begin.

What We Need to Succeed

This chapter begins with a review of the Endurance, and Shackleton and his crew in the Antarctic. Be sure to look it up through Google, or better yet, purchase The Connected Family. ;) The Shackleton's family motto was "by endurance we conquer."

What we need to succeed in the delicate work of raising our children, and for which we can pray to God, are power, determination, and commitment.

• Pray for power. Ask God to give you His power to rise above your old habits, and to respond more appropriately to your children.
• Pray for determination. Difficulties will come; seemingly insurmountable roadblocks will hinder progress. But God is ready to fill us with determination. All we need to do is personally ask God to make it a reality in our lives. He will!
• Pray for commitment. Are you willing to commit time to your children? You may need to set aside some of your own plans or desires, in order to commit this time to achieve these goals in your family, in your children's lives. Ask God for the commitment needed to achieve your goals; He is willing and waiting to answer your prayer!
• Pray for your children, by name. Pray specifically that each of your children will choose to follow the Lord.

Step Forward Assignments

1. Pray specifically to be filled with God's power, determination, and commitment.
2. Pray specifically for each of your children by name.

Journal Questions and Answers

1. Which quality do you feel you need the most--power, determination, or commitment? Why?
2. What are the main issues that need to be addressed in each of your children. Did you pray specifically for them and yourself in these areas?

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." Ecclesiastes 9:10.

I hope you will come back again next week, for the next step on this journey. Please share with me how this journey is going, too; what struggles you may be having; the exciting experiences occurring in your family.

Until next week.


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