Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Emotions at the Beginning

Sometime I might let Jennifer post her own initial thoughts and feelings, but for now, I will post mine.

Of course, I felt shock! I also felt disbelief which led to feelings of denial. This couldn't be true, this couldn't really be happening! They must have made a mistake! There must be some other reason for having such high blood sugar, etc. Maybe her pancreas has a tumor, or something like that! Maybe if I just ignore it, it will go away!

But it didn't! And it won't! And it never takes a vacation! So neither can we!

Where did it come from? Could it have been prevented? What did I do wrong? Did I do something wrong while I was pregnant with her? Why did this disease choose my beautiful, perfect little girl? Is it genetic? Will her brothers end up with it (so far, no!)?

Then we began hearing about various members of my dad's family who have diabetes, either Type 1 or Type 2. My dad is one, with Type 2. And since Jennifer's diagnosis, one of my cousin's children was also diagnosed with Type 1.

Sometimes anger sets in. And weariness. Even total exhaustion! And it has felt like a battle that Jennifer and I fight alone, without support or assistance from my husband. He made no attempts to learn about diabetes, nor its care. There was not much understanding from friends in the little town we lived in or the church we attended there.

But time marches on........

Our Journey Began
Continuing Journey
The Nightmare


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